Chapter 9

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    Raziel sat quietly atop a fallen rock with a yawn rubbing his shoulder gently. He'd been awake almost an hour now and already he was feeling tired again. LoN hadn't showed herself since that night outside of Nosgoth and it was beginning to worry him. She usually tended to show herself when she felt like it, but she had been so anxious for him to come back here it was awkward for her not to be around, ready for them to do whatever it was Raziel had to do.
    He heard a door shut quietly behind him and turned to see Tallania walking slowly towards him stretching her arms behind her back. She smiled warmly at him and climbed up the rock to sit beside him.
    "'Morning."
    "How'd you sleep?" He asked.
    "Like a rock, you?"
    "On a rock, I think." Raziel grunted lightly, continuing to rub out his shoulder.
    Giggling faintly she shifted around Raziel to sit behind him and brushed his hand away from his shoulder. Taking his cowl in her hands she lifted the corners of it from his shoulders and moved it closer around his neck. Laying her hands on each side of his neck she began masaging gently. "You shouldn't have done that."
    Raziel seemed to tense up even more under her touch and swallowed hard. "P-probably not." He studdered, "Thank you."
    She smiled shrugging some, working out muscles with her thumbs. "No problem." Raziel moaned slightly, his eyes rolling almost up into his head, it really did feel good. "You know.." She said slowly.
    Rocking his head forward a bit Raziel 'mmphed' lightly.
    She continued rubbing his shoulders, working her fingers down his back and shoulder blades. "I could change you back if you wanted,"
    As normal and common as her tone had been, Raziel at first believed himself dreaming. Snapping his awareness back to himself he turned quickly around to face her. "W-what?"
    Laying her hands in her lap she smiled warmly. "I could change you back." She repeated. "If you wanted me too."
    Hesitating slightly Raziel thought to himself. After all this time of hating himself for what he was he thought he would jump at the offer without any thought at all. "How?"
    She shrugged a bit, "I can turn back time around a person, not effecting the area around them, just the person. That's part of my magic."
    Raziel looked off to the side frowning deeply in thought. "You.. could make human again? No side affects? Nothing?"
    She nodded with an agreeing little grunt, "I could, or you could be a vampire again, it's only a thought, Raziel, you don't have to jump at it now."
    Nodding slowly he looked back at her searching her eyes for falsehoods or lies, he found none. "I'm going to have to give it alot of thought. I never dreamed there was a way to change me back." He frowned lightly again. "Everyone I have come across has told me I was stuck like this.."
    "It's fine with me.. It's your life."
    He pressed further. "Would that change anything else? My magic? My abbilities?"
    "It would be hard if you wanted to keep them, but it can be done. It's your decision."
    "I know, I know.."
    Smiling a little she adjusted his cowl over his shoulders again and sat back looking up at the grey sky unmoving, words she wished to say on the tip of her tongue. She looked back at him and leaned forward kissing him gently on the cheek.
    Raziel sat there unmoving and blinked at her silently when she pulled away from him, a look of shock on his face. Tallania pulled away slowly, she was shaking a little inside as if she had supprised herself as well. Her gaze dropped from his and looked off to the side slightly, the reality of what she had done sinking in slowly.
    Giving his head a few short bursts to shake his thoughts clear he smiled at her daring to craddle her cheek in his claws. "Thank you.. for everything."
    Her eyes lifted to look at his, she swallowed hard and spoke pysically trembling. "I'd do anything for you..."
    Raziel spoke softly, something inside of him speaking for him in his own voice. "And I you.. you and Richard both."
    A single tear slid down her cheek, "You didn't have to take Richard and myself in. You didn't have to show us any care.."
    "I didn't have to," He broke in quietly, "But I did."
    "I'd do anything to repay you...I swear I would."
    Smiling lightly Raziel wipped the tear from her eye with his clawed-thumb. "You already have."
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    The spent the rest of the morning and afternoon together in silence, both enjoying the others company to the fullest.
    Richard crawled around the ground with a giggle chasing after something again that just happend to be moving. What it was he was chasing Raziel couldn't see, but he let the boy have his fun anyway.
    As evening set in Raziel and Tallania spent the night infront of the fire in Raziel's former living quarters. Richard napped peacefully on the fur rug and Tallania lay silently with her head on Raziel's leg dozing on and off.
    "..Raziel?"
    He looked down at her, "Mmhm?"
    "Will you stay with me..I don't want to be alone ever again..I can't." She yawned sleepily closing her eyes again.
    Raziel smiled warmly combing his claws through her hair. "I'll always be here." He smiled inwardly, wondering again what he had gotten himself into... and not really carring either. "I can't remember when I've felt this happy."
    "I could never be happier.."
    Frowning lightly he looked absent-mindedly at the flames that flickered and danced about the fireplace. "Then.. you don't mind that I look like this.. even if I were to keep this form, you wouldn't care?"
    She smiled lightly in her dreamy state. "No. I wouldn't care. I'd love you still the same..I fell in love with you like this...Not any other way."
    He nodded slowly. Silence....
    "Raziel?"
    "Yes?"
    She bit her lip looking down and off to the side smiling slightly. "I love you."
    "As do I."
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    Evening faided slowly into morning as Tallania slept peacefully next to Richard on the fur rug. Raziel yawned slightly and stood letting the two sleep, his mind was thinking again. Walking out of the room and out into the early hours of morning he looked about his former clan area with a discusted sigh. Some fine life Tallania and her son was going to have in this dump...
    Walking passed it all he made his way to the Lake of the Dead and sat on the mountainside dangling his legs of the side. He used to come here centeries ago and watch the ever turning waters of the Abyss, it used to clear his mind, but recently it had done nothing but make him think. Leaning back slightly on his arms he sighed, there were so many things he wished he could do, but for obvious reasons, couldn't. He loved Tallania with all his heart, but he would never beable to express it as he wished. She loved him for what he was, true, but did he like himself for what he was?
    "Its miserible.."
    Raziel jumped slightly and turned to see Tallania walking up slowly behind him, Richard in her arms. It never ceased to amaze him how she could sneak up behind him without detection. She chuckled with a faint smile and sat down beside him looking out over the Abyss.
    Raziel nodded slowly. "I used to come here to relax back then... Now it just kind of creeps the flesh."
    "..I know what you mean." They sat silently looking out over the waters, Raziel lost in thought. "Have you given any thought to my preposal?"
    "A little, I have to admit I'm currious, but..." He trailed off raising a hand to look at it. He thought what it would be like to be 'normal', to have ten toes and ten fingers, a jaw, and the rest of his stomach area, but what was LoN going to say about it? According to everyone he could never be mortal again, and Raziel had slowly gotten accustomed to the idea as depressing as it was.
    "It was just an idea, Raziel, you don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought it would make you happier."
    He smiled at her, "I couldn't possibly be happier than I am now."
    She giggled looking out over the waters, then down beside her picking up a pebble to toss into the Abyss. Letting out a little yelp she dropped the pebble as it bounced off the ground and off the side of the mountain. Raziel looked at her and blinked, Tallania looked down at her hand with a frown.
    "You alright?" He asked worriedly.
    She nodded slightly, "I'm fine."
    "What happend?" He looked down at her palm to see a faint little pink mark where the rock had touched her.
    Shaking her head slightly she answered, "I had a quick vision when I touched the little peddle..." She shook her head again attempting to desifer the images, "It's nothing.."
    "You sure?"
    She nodded, patting him reasuringly on the shoulder, "Yes.." She stood slowly as Raziel watched her and took a few steps then wavered slightly, her hand going to her forhead.
    "..Tal?" Raziel asked getting to his feet.
    Tallania shook her head, her hand still on her forhead. "I'm fine, really."
    Raziel walked to stand behind her layed his arms around her shoulders lightly. "Come on Tal," He said slowly, "Tell me what's wrong."
    Removing her hand from her face, she turned to look at him and gasped putting a hand on her mouth. "Oh, Raziel."
    Looking down at his arms he noticed why she had been so startled, creaping across Raziel's hands and arms was a faint natural flesh colour that seemed to take over his own blue skin. Pulling his hands back in shock Raziel looked at them in horror and amazement.
    "W..w..what..?" Raziel stumbled for words, his eyes wide in shock.
    "I can't touch you anymore..my powers are bonding to you, changing you against my will." She shook her head refusing to look at him, "It should fade soon, I promise, but if I touch you again..it will spread." Continuing to stare at his claws he studdered more, his thoughts not forming properly. "I can't help it, I'm sorry." Tallania took a few causious steps back and bolted as fast as she could.
    Raziel shook his head in short bursts and looked forward to see her turning the corner infront of him. "Tal, hold on, wait!" Taking off a dead run Raziel ran after her and turned the corner. Tallania was no where to be found.
    With a sigh Raziel looked down at his arms again. The flesh colour was already reseding.
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    It was several hours before Raziel had heard anything from Tallania since that moment early in the morning. He had searched for her for the rest of the morning to no avail and had walked back to the Abyss hoping she would find him later in the day. Raziel leaned heavily against the rock wall with a sigh, so many things he wished he could say, but everytime he tried he only succeeded in making himself a fool.
    Tallania walked silently up behind him just watching. "Raziel before I came to be this way, I was the soul of a girl named Token...I saw the things that happened in Nosgoth through her eyes for the ages." She paused, as Raziel refused to move. "Token was the daughter of Kain."
    Raziel's voice was small and distant, "I see.."
    Walking closer she sat close to him, her heart longed to touch him, to comfort him somehow, but she knew she couldn't. "I saw your nightmare through her eyes...one I never wished to see.." She sighed heavily, Raziel didn't seem to notice her there. She continued, "Kain was a noble from Coorhagen when Nosgoth was not in ruins.. before he changed. All things come at a price, Raziel and he was changed into a vampire. Once his mission of restoring the pillers was complete, he returned home and found only his daughter and changed Token into what he had become. I saw your birth, and your destruction...I saw a past I wish not to remember...I'm sorry Raziel. I'm so sorry for all the suffering you have gone through..I love you with all my heart...And I should have told you sooner..but just didn't have the heart." She finished with a sigh, all those things had been weighing on her shoulders for the longest time now and somehow telling him all this made her feel a little releived.
   Continuing to stare off into oblivion he spoke, "Then you saw her.. Kallin? You remind me so much of her."
   She nodded slowly, her eyes downcast. "I shouldn't be placed beside such a wonderful woman. She went through so much..and was strong the whole time."
   "We both had to be strong." Raziel's tone was flat and distant, he still refused to look up, his head rested against the rock wall beside him.
   "I wasn't.. I'm not now...I don't know what to do. If I touch you, the bond will grow and finish. It breaks my heart that I can't."
   He shifted sitting straight and looked at her in the eye. "Then I've decided."
    Shaking her head slowly Tallania spoke softly, "Raziel.."
   Cutting her off Raziel interupted, "Please.... I don't want to loose you too. If it has to be that way than so be it. Appearances mean nothing to me anymore. I've known that for to long, I was just to stuborn to admit it."
    "But.."
   "If I can't touch you without changing then I don't care anymore..I want to be normal again.. I want it to end."
    She sighed heavily and sat beside him. "Then..close your eyes."
    Raziel nodded taking a deep breath and did so. Reaching out an unsteady hand she placed it over his heart. She closed her eyes as Raziel felt a warm trickle corse through his arms and legs. He wanted to open his eyes in the worst way, to see what she was doing to him, but he resisted, he wanted to follow it through. The warmth flowed slowly through him filling ever muscle, every part of him as he waited impatiantly.
She opened her eyes again to look at him, a smile of joy on her face and giggled.
    He opened his eyes slowly to look at her. She too had changed as well. Her dress of grey had fadded to white and her hair shined brightly against the drab grey of the rocks around them. She smiled looking up at him, "Oh Raziel." Raziel blinked lightly getting his vision to clear. She reaching up cautiously, pulling his cowl down to look at his face. She smiled lightly at his features he held before the monstrosity of Kain's vampirism had taken him. Tallania reaching out again, she cupping her hand over his cheek, gazing at him gently. "You are as handsome as the first day I saw you."
    Taking her into his arms Raziel leaned forward and kissed her as deeply and as passionatly as he could. The kiss was awkward at first, but he'd been waiting so long to do it, he didn't care. Pulling away slowly he looked at her with a smile, "I've been waiting far to long to do that."
    She smiled, leaning closed to him. Raziel looked down to his extended leg at his toes that poked out of the gauntlet boots that once fit securly around his legs and feet. Torn, fadded black pants covered his legs and were snug against his skin after years of not having to wear them. It felt weird to him, he had nearly forgotten what it was like to have to wear clothes. His chest, however, was bare except for the cowl drapped over his shoulders. He sighed contently, "So... now what do we do..?"
    She giggled, "I don't know, what do you want to do?"
    Raziel shook his head , "I have no idea." Running his fingers through her hair he smiled down at her. "As long as I'm with you I couldn't care."
    "Me neither."
    With a frown of thought Raziel spoke quietly, "Do you think I'll ever get my memories back from before, when I was Sarafan?"
    Tallania shruged lightly, "I don't know.. maybe."
    Raziel nodded chuckling contently to himself, how was LoN going to react to this? He didn't know.
    "Raziel?.."
    "Mm?"
    "Do you remember Token at all?"
    Raziel shook his head, "I don't think so."
    "She looked alot like me...only younger..and had white hair." She rested her head on his chest closing her eyes slowly. Raziel wrapped one arm around her smiling. "She really wasn't all that old..maybe twelve at the time and wore long white robes."
    Raziel shook his head again. "No."
    Tallania giggled suddenly, "I was supprised."
    "About what?" He played with her hair absent-mindedly.
    "You." She giggled again lightly, "I wonder if Richard will reconize you."
    Raziel smiled, "I don't know, I don't think I'd recognize myself right now."
    "I do. I remember when Nosgoth was beautiful, I remember you when you were Sarafan."
    "It must have been a sight."
    "It was gorgeous. Nosgoth was filled with lush green forests and beautiful mountains with rivers and wildlife." She spoke slowly as if the memory of it pained her.
    Raziel nodded slowly at the memory of Nosgoth's past he had seen. "And then Kain built the factories. Smoke filled the sky...and eternal night fell upon Nosgoth." Raziel stopped himself and looked over the Lake of the Dead. "....and we helped." He said slowly."Melchiah, Dumah, Turel, Rahab, Zephon, and myself.. we destroyed Nosgoth."
    She shook her head slowly lifting her head from his chest to look at him. "You had no control..and I was just as guilty, Raziel. Kain made you do it."
    Raziel began to shake slowly as the horrible reality set in for the first time."We we're willing to do it. we took pleasure in doing it. Oh gods.. what did we do?"
    "Kain made you do it." She spoke slowly, she knew what she was talking about. "I was his daughter..I know. Raziel, I knew the man personally before he was a vampire. I loved him, adored him. When he changed he became a monster, deemed only to do what he wanted for his own well being. You were good men and Kain changed you. I remember seeing you in your armor..and your brothers..all proud..honest.."
    Raziel shook his head, "The Sarafan were never honest, I've seen what they did. I personally took Janos Audron's life."
    "You were fighting your own battles," She spoke slowly.
    "I wish I could remember why." He sighed closing his eyes slightly.
    "There are things I can remember, Raziel, that I'm glad you cannot."
    "I'm not glad." Raziel frowned, "I want to know of it all. Everything. Everything that's been kept from me."
    She nodded slowly kissing him on the cheek breaking the slightly depressing mood. She giggled looking up at him. "You're so adoreable."
    Raziel smiled rubbing her cheek with a hand, "So are you." She giggled in response leaning next to him again with a smile and looked up at the dark sky.
    Raziel followed her gaze up as the cowl slid from his shoulders and slumped into a pile on the ground beside him.
    Picking it up into his hands he snorted lightly with a frown. "I.. guess I don't need this anymore, hm?"
    Tallania looked at it, then back to him. "Not unless you want to keep it."
   "I didn't realize it was so beat up. It's not even red anymore.." He layed it beside him and yawned stretching his mouth wide. "Maybe I'll keep it for now."
    Tallania smiled softly with a nod.
   "I never want this day to end."
    Smiling with a little yawn she closed her eyes and nodded. She couldn't find a reason to argue with him.